Things I will not do in the Mushroom Kingdom
by Boss-defeater451
Summary: The movie... I mean, the game... no, the story. If you happen to visit the Mushroom Kingdom as an author, keep in mind of these rules or else you might find yourself in a not really good situation.


**Ah, it has been some time since I have written a fanfiction, with the exception of the fake chapter for Daring Truths. This one is written for Cloud Dreamer Girl's birthday. What has this to do with her birthday? Well, you'll see and hopefully enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, Nintendo does. I neither made this list, that honor goes to Cloud Dreamer Girl, ThatNintendoFangirl and the Maffia Gang.**

* * *

Ah, it was once more a peaceful day in the Mushroom Kingdom. After Peach's most recent kidnappings, sold on 3DS and Wii U, and a recent announcement that 2013 would be the 'year of Luigi', the toads assumed a frontal attack on the Mushroom Kingdom by Bowser would not be early on. Well, maybe a few fanfictions would ruin the mood, and possibly have Bowser go on a rampage, but that wouldn't be too bad. So the toads hoped.

But there was one more reason why the Mushroom Kingdom was peaceful. It was December, the month of celebrations. Such as Christmas. Snow was preparing the toads for a white Christmas, and some children were making a few snowmen. The children stood proudly before their works, then shocked when the snowmen slid away on itself. The adults on the other hand, were busy with Christmas shopping. Others were trying to explain what Christmas actually is to the few curious children. They said that it was to celebrate someone's birthday.

The children responded: "Whose?"

After a long time, the parent could finally answer that they were celebrating Jezus Christus' birthday.

The children asked: "Who?"

That question was always left unanswered. Some parents tried to repeat the name as an answer, but it all came down to that the name was unknown. Some people had brought the celebration in ancient times from a different world, but what the heck it actually was about and who this 'Jezus' person is…

Mwah, it gave the toads a few weeks off, that's what they really cared about anyway.

Talking about visitors, one new person appeared on the edge of the Mushroom Kingdom. Who this is I do not know, but I'm sure I'll learn it as you learn about him. This person had appeared without a warp pipe, nothing ordinary was used. He just came in a poof, except without the poof. This might be related to the legend of the powerful authors, who write down all those previous mentioned fanfictions. In fact, by the laptop and notebook he hold, he was certainly an author. Or at the very least, an avatar. Having recently discovered this site called , he was quickly attracted to the (not-so) wonderful world of the Mushroom Kingdom. But before he could start his work, he needed to orientate himself by looking at a few other fanfictions. Meet up with some authors who will follow his work was certainly a nice start as well. Hence why he arrived in this Kingdom.

A sudden feeling told him to go to some random place he had never been before. That's quite easy as this was his first step in the fanfiction Mushroom Kingdom, but why did he feel the need to go to that random place? He didn't know where it was, yet he did. He went to ignore it for a while, but as time continued, he found his steps towards what his feeling said, that place. No choice in this whole thing, the poor lad decided he might as well just head over there. He traveled through the outskirts of the Mushroom Kingdom, to the boundary with the Dark Lands, with only his odd feelings as a guide. Finally, the random place came into sight. So he felt.

It was… quite the random place to be attracted to. There was just a hole in the ground, nothing less, nothing more. He walked towards it, not sure if he actually could trust this feeling he had. What if he was put under a spell?

"Hey! You!" A voice shouted from behind. The poor lad was stunned from fear, not having planned on a meeting here. It took him way too long to view what was at his back. Another boy, seemingly older than our author. The boy had a look of seriousness, but yet something… fun? No idea, his face just looked normal.

"I'm terribly sorry if I'm trespassing, but I just had-…" the boy tried to explain his motives, but the other boy just waved with his hand to shut him up. Literally, the boy had no choice but to close his mouth. Was this the one who guided him here if he had such power?

"Don't worry. All of us gather here. It's the local hideout for some Mario fanfiction authors. Here you are safe if you choose to put any characters through misery. No character can find this place, though I've seen Kamek hanging around here lately," as the boy said that, he thought about Kamek. Was it possible that a character had finally… nah, it couldn't be. As many fanfictions he had written with Bowser swearing revenge on all authors, it was impossible that any character even knew of this place.

"Err… what place?" the younger boy asked, again overlooking the hole. The other boy was brought out of slow moving train of thoughts, and smiled mysteriously. Yes, that is completely possible.

"This place right here," with another wave of a hand, the boy summoned a small wooden house. A really small house, so small that it was just asking for a … "No, it is not bigger on the inside than on the outside. Everyone gathers in this place, but they all have a different house, mansion, castle and whatnot." … 'bigger on the inside' treatment. As one could expect from authors, they can break the fourth wall with ease.

"I'm not sure if I should be impressed on how the house appeared, or laughing at how small it is," the other boy, which I will now call the protagonist, told.

"Do both. Just keep in mind the cleaning when you decide for yourself on a castle. Minions that are willing to clean are rare these days. But come inside, and make yourself at home. I can't make myself home, but maybe you can in it," the other boy told him. "I'm Boss-defeater451, by the way."

The protagonist told his name, but for some reason, I couldn't hear him. So I can't tell you his name either. The two entered the small house, the protagonist spotting a large amount of books and one laptop.

"Those books are your story ideas. Just don't get too many yourself, or you'll only procrastinate on all stories," Boss-defeater451 told the protagonist, looking around on those books himself. The protagonist looked down to the wooden floor, spotting a lot of different… footmarks?

"If it's a secret to everyone, then why are there are here so many different footsteps?" the protagonist asked. Boss-defeater451 didn't even turn around to answer.

"Oh, an OC of mine discovered this place when I temporarily put it somewhere else. A lot of canon characters entered after that."

"So… what does an author do here?" the protagonist asked, but received once more no look of Boss-defeater451.

"Write stories, meet people, gain inspiration for birthdays…" Boss-defeater451 ended the last one rather soft, as if that was the reason why he was here. Well, actually, that was the reason.

"Whose birthday?" the protagonist wondered, taking a seat for himself.

"Cloud Dreamer Girl on and one of the two Mario Sisters on ." Boss-defeater451 was still looking at his many books, hoping to find a good story idea for Cloud Dreamer Girl. "But enough about myself. What kind of fanfiction are you planning to start on?"

"Nothing special. I figured starting out with a normal 'random crap happens' story would be a good introduction."

Finally, Boss-defeater451 turned his head and looked over to the protagonist. "Ah, one of those. Just beware that there are many more of such fanfictions, especially ones in Castle Bleck these days. Also, remember the 'Things I will not do in the Mushroom Kingdom…' list."

"The 'Things I will not do in the Mushroom Kingdom' list?" the protagonist repeated.

"Yes, the 'Things I will not do in the Mushroom Kingdom' list," Boss-defeater451 repeated. "It's a list of rules for most authors, created by Cloud Dreamer Girl and later on edited by her, ThatNintendoFangirl and the Maffia Gang."

"The Maffia Gang?!" even in the Mushroom Kingdom, there was a Maffia Gang? The protagonist was shocked.

Boss-defeater451 just smiled. "Don't worry about that. It's just a game some people play…"

"Oh."

"where they kill each other in the disguise of canon characters," Boss-defeater451 ended calmly.

"WHAT?!"

"Don't worry about it. We've got enough one-ups around here to survive any form of apocalypse that lasts a hundred years and disasters kill us every single second."

"Oh."

"Anyway, the list was made as either a joke, or to alarm new authors not to repeat mistakes of the past. Even as authors, we can't get away with everything all the time," Boss-defeater451 explained. "Doing these anyway will result in broken bones, death, blue eyes, or in the worst case, you getting hurt instead of a canon character."

"But what are those rules and why shouldn't we do them?"

"Ah, that's a long tale…" Boss-defeater451 said as he picked up paper from the wall. It was a huge list, with as title:

**Things I will not do in the Mushroom Kingdom...  
(Originally Created By Cloud Dreamer Girl) (Edited by TNFG, The Mafia Gang, and Cloud Dreamer Girl)**

**1. I will not tell Bowser that he's the evolved form of a squirtle**

The girl sneaked into Bowser's castle with relative ease. Well, of course it was easy when the guards were asleep. A classic and overused joke, but still useful to everyone. Except the boss of those guards, of course. She snuck up to the throne hall. She had a plan. A genius, devilish plan. She laughed evilly: 'HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!", then continued her way. There he was. The king of the koopas. Ruler of Mordor-… I mean, the Dark Lands. Conqueror of princesses. The final evolved form of… squirtle?

"Blastoise, get in my Poké ball!" the girl shouted as threw a poké ball at the surprised Bowser. The poké ball hit, opened and… fell to the ground.

"…" Bowser remained silent for a short while, overthinking his next move. This next move was to flambé the girl. After a hasty and burning retreat of the girl, Bowser Junior came to Bowser.

"Squirtle?" Bowser Junior asked.

"Blastoise."

**2. I will not scream BOWSER at the top of my lungs in the middle of Toad Square...**

"BOWS-!" before he realized it, he was on the ground, overrun by many, many toads, all screaming Bowser's name, Bowser, with fear. Next time, the boy should know the toads' evacuation plan: scream and run away at very sound of 'bow'. Then he might have had a chance to not fit in a Paper Mario game…

**3. I will not eat a peach in front of Peach's face nor will I destroy a daisy in front of Daisy...**

"Say, do you know why princess Peach is crying so hard? I wanted Bowser to kidnap her for my story, but he couldn't hold out for too long," an annoyed girl asked to a boy.

"Well, I ate a peach in front of her. She started crying about how pure of nature they are, how they form nature, all that sorts of crap."

"Yeah great, but you have made her unusable for any story for days!" Then the girl noticed something else. "Why do you have a blue eye?"

"I tried the same thing with Daisy. Didn't count on the fact she's so freaking fast. And strong."

**4. I will not tell goombas that Mario is going to get them in their sleep...**

Many eyes did not close that night. The next day, the authors got a complaint letter. With all goombas sleeping on the job, and the very few awake running away at the mere sight of something red made all games a bit too easy. The authors had to pay a lot of money to Nintendo in the end.

**5. I will not eat a mushroom in front of Toad**

"Hap, smak, nap…" the boy ate the mushroom. A toad watched it happen. He stared… but not with a specific emotion. Hey, he sees Mario and Luigi eating mushrooms all the time, why would he be shocked?

After a few more moments, the toad walked away. The boy muttered: "That was so boring, it should be forbidden to do this."

**6. I will not ask Mario how Rosalina is doing nor will I ask Daisy how things are going with Mr. L...**

"Say, Mario, how is it going with Rosalina?" the girl asked Mario with a small tone of curiosity.

"Well, nice that you-a asked. It is going…"

"YOU DARE TO BREAK THE MARIOxPEACH SHIPPING?! YOU MUST DIE!" A horde of fangirls and fanboys jumped out of nowhere, grabbing the poor girl (who desperately tried to struggle free) and bringing her to nearby bushes. We never heard of her again.

At a different place, a girl had a question for Daisy.

"Say, Daisy, how is it going with Mr. L?"

"I seriously hope you're not thinking there's some love in our…" Daisy didn't have the chance to finish, as once more a horde of fangirls and fanboys jumped out of nowhere. "TELL US OF YOUR INFINITE LOVE FOR MR. L!"

Daisy tried to escape the mass of fans of the shipping, but she could go to nowhere. Just as she was about to go down in the mass, already forced to wear what some may name a Ms. D outfit, she hit the girl who asked it. Hard. We never saw her back till we visited the moon.

**7. I will not shout THE GREEN THUNDER or any of his "other" catch phrases in front of Luigi's face.**

"Hello GREEN THUNDER!" the boy shouted over to Luigi, who was guarding the Mushroom Kingdom from invasions like a true home-defender. That means, doing the laundry.

Luigi stared at the boy with slight suspicion. Then he finally said: "I don't know where you got that nickname from, but I like it. Watch as the Green Thunder punishes those who are wrongdoers!" Luigi ran off to someplace.

"Did they never tell him or did they never figure it out themselves?" the boy wondered to himself.

**8. I will not hum the super man theme song when I use the star power up that grants you the ability to fly**

"MAKE IT STOP!" All toads shouted as the girl started humming and flying. One of them walked up to the girl, who instantly shut up. This was no ordinary toad: this was a mass of muscles, something nobody thought would ever exist in the toad species. He jumped up high, grabbed her and brought the girl, invincibility or not, back to the ground.

"You think you're funny? You think you're funny? Just like the rest who hums that theme when we don't even know where it is from? Huh?! Huh?!"

"… Yes?" the girl cowardly answered.

"Well, allow me to show you something else funny."

Her screams were heard over the whole Mushroom Kingdom.

**9. I will not hum the Mario Bros. theme song while walking around the Mushroom Kingdom**

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" the same toad from before said. The poor boy didn't even have a chance to start humming. His screams were heard even in the Real World.

**10. I will not ask Mario if the Great Gonzales is planning to make a comeback any time soon**

"Say Mario, when is the Great Gonzales returning?" a girl asked to Mario.

"The great who again?" that's what he responded with.

"The Great Gonzales."

"No idea when. I don't really care too much about wrestling." Mario then simply walked away.

"… Okay, that was the quite the anti-joke. I guess he forgot about it with all the nicknames and adventures he got…"

**11. It is not acceptable to serve Koopasta to a Koopa-Troopa**

"MY BOWSERNESS WHAT DID YOU DO TO KOOPA 3 IN ROOM 2 OF THAT CASTLE IN DINOSAUR LAND?!" the koopa shouted terrified as he got a dish with koopasta served. The cook, a boy, wondered how the koopa could even confuse this meal with some real koopa, as it wasn't made of any koopas.

"THIS IS NO LONGER AN E-GAME SERIES! I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMOREEEEE!" The last word was said a bit longer than normal, as the koopa decided to commit suicide by jumping off a cliff… that wasn't, for once, bottomless. The boy looked at the remains of the poor koopa and vomited on those same remains.

"So… gross…"

**12. I will not have a simile-making contest with Dimentio.**

"My personality is like rainbows of many colors."

"So I arrived like the winds of Gerudo."

"I looked at you like a magician who was outmatched by a trick."

"Your words attack like a healing leaf."

Several people watched the contest between the girl and Dimentio and their simile-contest. They were slightly tired, so could be seen by their eyelids dropping like an anvil.

"How long have they been at this again?" one boy asked to a toad.

"Three days."

**13. I will not tell Fawful I know where The Dark Star is.**

"I know where The Dark Star is!" a boy shouted out, but he was quickly silenced when a laser gun was hold at his throat.

"Fink-rat, I have chortles if you tell me the location, or else your beans unspilled will be used on the cookery plate of piranha plants," Fawful told the poor boy. This was not exactly going as planned.

**14. I will not tell Fawful that The Dark Star is underneath Dimentio's hat.**

Despite the gun, he told him anyway: "Underneath Dimentio's hat."

Fawful moved his gun to Dimentio, still busy with the contest. "You clown of the no-fun-except-yourself, give me darky stary on the moments I tell you of FURY!"

"Like a mushroom person, I'll tell you its location."

"I HAVE FURY!" Fawful shot at Dimentio, who easily dodged it while still continuing on with the contest.

**15. I will not tell Fawful that Dimentio is more insane than he is after informing The Dark Star is underneath his hat.**

"Hey, Fawful, Dimentio is mo-…" A laser blast knocked the young lad out. He shouldn't have attempted to continue the joke, but instead fled from the battle of both fury and similes.

**16. I will not push Bowser and Mario when they are mad at each other inside of Luigi's Haunted Mansion and bet on who destroys the mansion first from fighting.**

"BOWSER! DID YOU KIDNAP THE PRINCESS AGAIN?!" Mario shouted as he ran before some kind of house.

"No, I rescued her from the likes of you. Want to continue my rescue?" Bowser answered, ready to punch Mario to the ground.

"I'm ready to get this nonsensa done," Mario spoke back, ready to defeat Bowser yet again. Just as the two were about to punch each other, a girl softly pushed them. They flew with enormous velocity straight into Luigi's Haunted Mansion. Ignoring the fact their location was different, they started the fight. Tables were thrown, fridges as well…

"I bet Bowser breaks the building first," the boy bet (as if you didn't know that yet).

"My money is on Mario," the girl responded, before continuing. "Why will we forbid this in the near future again?"

**17. I will not lock Luigi without his Poltergust 3000 inside of Luigi's Haunted Mansion just to see him run around like mad.**

Luigi was minding his own business. This includes hanging around on fortresses, hanging around in deserts, hanging around the sea and more odd locations. But just as he was about to move to somewhere else, a young girl grabbed him, took his Poltergust 3000 off, and put him in his own mansion. That all in about one second.

"Mario…?" Luigi's natural instincts came up, which was screaming for Mario when in danger. He walked carefully through the house… till he found Mario and Bowser… bitch-slapping each other? Well, that was nothing sp-

Then Luigi spotted the broken tables, lamps, floor, ceiling, walls, mansion and more.

"BOWSER AND MARIO! HOW DARE YOU BREAK MY MANSION!" Luigi shouted out, instantly causing Bowser and Mario to stop.

"I dare because I'm Bows-…" Bowser wanted to say, but Luigi didn't give him any chance.

"BOTH OF YOU, CLEAN UP THIS MESS AND PAY ME ANOTHER MANSION! AND STOP WITH FIGHTING!"

Both Bowser and Mario whimpered as they walked outside with an uneasy calm air around them. The boy and the girl stared at them.

"Oh, that's why. They are no match for Luigi's rage…"

**18. I will not order Mr. L to insult Dimentio's face just to make obsessive fangirls mad.**

"IN YOUR COMICAL FA-" Mr. L shouted at Dimentio. A boy was looking at them from a behind a black wall. There were a lot of black walls in this castle.

Walls that can be easily broken by a horde of yaoi fangirls. They ran through the walls, over the boy, to the starting row.

"SQUEE! THEY'RE INSULTING EACH OTHER! THE PATH TO LOVE FULL OF BABIES!" they all screamed out. Mr. L and Dimentio looked at each other for a split-second, then wisely decided to run off. The boy was taken in the hospital for several days.

**19. I will not compare Bowser Jr. to 'Mini-Me' in front of Bowser.**

"You know, Bowser Junior really looks like a 'Mini-Me' compared to you, Bowser," the girl said honestly. Bowser simply punched the girl to the moon for insulting his son.

"Squirtle…" Bowser Junior was softly crying, but Bowser came and gave him a hug.

"Blastoise."

**20. I will not question the logic of the Mario-Verse.**

"Say, how do those blocks fly-…" the girl never got the chance to finish her question, because the blocks decided to show why they flied. Which was to not hit any random passerby walking under them. The girl was taken to the hospital for several days.

**21. I will not steal Ludwig's piano and sell it on eBay to obsessive fangirls.**

"MY PIANO!" Ludwig shouted out as he saw the poor item torn apart by the fangirls who bought it. "My beautiful Ana… Oh well, the music can be played on Trola." Ludwig grabbed his trumpet and started playing on it. Unlike the piano, Ludwig wasn't that good on the trumpet, except make his music sound rather loud. Nobody slept that night, and the next night nobody slept either.

"That was not a good idea," the seller of the piano, a boy, said, as he desperately tried to block out the song.

**22. I cannot give Geno to Pinocchio's father.**

"He's alive?" Gepetto said astonished as Geno walked around in the room. He had a mission to fulfill, namely to find all those broken stars back.

"Say, have you seen any…" Geno wanted to ask, but Gepetto continued.

"He's alive! He wants to be real good boy! Tonight you'll need a good sleep for school tomorrow."

Geno had no idea what school was, but since many children wished for it to be gone, it couldn't be good.

The next day, Geno's fears were confirmed. School was dreadful, and without Geno, there was nobody who could stop Smithy. It took several authors to write the Mario universe back to how it should be.

**23. I will not eat Mallow no matter how much he looks like a yummy marshmellow**

"Yummy…" the girl said as she went hungrily towards Mallow, who crept back in a small corner with an absurd huge amount of fear.

"DON'T YOU DARE EAT MY BROTHER!" Iris, an OC of Cloud Dreamer Girl, ran in and kicked the poor girl of the clouds. Then again, was she really that poor for almost eating Mallow?

**24. Do not give Vivian, Goombella, Ms. Mowz, or Flurrie love-letters that are falsely addressed from Mario.**

"Mother of Grambi," Mario stated as he watched Vivian, Goombella, Ms. Mowz and Flurrie nearing his house. He quickly figured out the prank, but he knew none of the girls would accept it. He hid in Luigi's secret basement, allowing several villains to take over the world. Don't worry, after Mario finally escaped, he set things straight again.

**25. Also, don't send love-letters falsely addressed from Luigi to Princess Éclair.**

"By the order of the Waffle Kingdom's princess, you under arrest," a toad with a spear told Luigi as he grabbed him by his arm.

"But I didn't write that letter!"

"You did and by doing so, you nearly destroyed the peace in our kingdom. With some luck, you'll only get prison for several days."

Luigi had no choice but to go along with the toad. The trial wasn't pretty, not pretty enough to show to the younger audience.

**26. It is impossible to convince Pennington that 'Luigi' is actually Mario.**

"Say, you know that 'Luigi' was actually Mario, right?" a boy asked to Pennington.

"Ah, but that's what Luigi wanted me to believe. It took me a few days, but then I realized that Luigi was hiding from his fangirls, by dressing up like Mario and pretending to save the day as him. No, such act is quickly seen through by me."

**27. It is also impossible to convince Pennington that he stinks when it comes to solving crimes.**

"Eurgh, you're impossible when it comes to solving anything, especially crimes."

"AHA! I knew you were the robber of that bank! By your disbelief in me, while I am for one time failing to capture the robber in less than two days, you showed that you were confident in your abilities!" Pennington concluded as he dragged the girl to the nearest police station.

"What? But…"

**28. Nimbi people are not Canadians from South Park.**

"No, we areth Canadians from South Park." That was their short statement. More they did not want to say about the matter.

**29. I will not use 'faucet-face' as an insult to the Mario Bros.**

"Faucet-faces!" the boy shouted to the Mario bros.

"I told you that our fame is getting ripped off by everything…" Luigi whispered over to Mario, who simply continued their pace.

**30. I will not quote from old Super Mario World episodes.**

"That's Mama-Luigi to you, Mario!" a random boy spoke in the middle of nowhere. A troop of baby-Yoshi's shot out of completely nowhere, and cuddled up to the random boy.

"Mama!" They all shouted.

"… Not sure why this would be bad." the boy said as he petted some of the cute Yoshi's.

**31. I will not speak of the live-action Super Mario Bros. Movie**

"Say, shouldn't we consider the canon brought in by the Super Mario bros. M-…" the girl did not live to see the end of the day, thanks to several toads, Mario, Bowser, Peach, Daisy, Luigi and several other authors.

**32. I cannot name a Piranha Plant Steve.**

"Hi, Steve!" the boy greeted a Piranha Plant. The Piranha Plant ducked into the ground and went up again underneath the boy. He was tasty, according to the plant.

**33. I cannot name Piranha Plants ever.**

"Hi, Shelly!" Just so you know, most of the time, Piranha Plants don't have any intelligence, so they rely on instincts. In most cases, that means eating anybody standing nearby. Including the girl who greeted him.

**34. I will not give the location of Luvbi's prince to Luvbi.**

"Oh my Princeth, where arthest thou?" Luvbi asked to nobody special, mostly the air. Unexpected, she got an answer.

"Thouth princeth arth in the lands of the Kingdoms of Mushrooms, in a small house," a boy told Luvbi. Luvbi did not hesitate a second and went over to the Mushroom Kingdom, entering the small house (how she knew she was in the right remained a mystery). There she discovered her prince was… Mario?

"Oh, thou humor is not funny. My humor willth showth thou the fun."

Many years later, when the boy died a natural death, he was sent to the darkest depths of the Underwhere instead of the Overthere, thanks to a certain Nimbi 'recommendations'…

**35. I will not tell Beldam and Marylin that Vivian is better than both of them. No matter how true it is.**

"Vivian is much better than you two combined!" a girl insulted the two other shadow sisters.

"Gwuh?" Marylin asked.

"Oh, you'll see why we are better. Marylin?"

The girl was shocked at Marylin's action, and frozen on the spot when Beldam did hers. And I mean both meanings of 'shocked' and 'frozen'.

**36. I will not sing the SMRPG song every time I walk through Geno's Forest.**

"DON'T YOU DARE!" The toad from many rules back, came back and smashed the boy in the soil of the forest just as he was about to sing.

"Say, am I not allowed to sing anymore?!"

**37. I will not do the things listed in '10 Ways To Tick Dimentio Off'**

"'10 Ways To Tick Dimentio Off?'" the protagonist asked Boss-defeater451 with small curiosity.

"Oh, that's a story I haven't read myself. I don't know if this one actually brought bad luck. I'll just skip this one."

**38. I will not to record Dimentio's reaction after doing the things listed in '10 Ways To Tick Dimentio Off'**

"And I'm skipping this one as well," Boss-defeater451 said to the reader.

**39. I will not lie to Waluigi and say that he has more fangirls than his rival.**

"Waluigi, as of today, you've got more fans than Luigi!" the boy spoke as he watched the fan count. Luigi had way more than Waluigi.

"Wahahahahawa! I knew it! Now I'll stuff it in his face!" Waluigi went out, then shortly after that came back with a less happy mood than when he left. "No one lies to the Waluigi!"

Then Waluigi realized that the boy was long gone. Well, so much for revenge.

**40. I will not refer to eating shrooms and getting refreshing herbs as 'getting high'**

"Aren't shrooms and herbs a way to get high?" a girl asked to a nearby boy.

"Shhh. Can't have the Mario series become mature," the boy whispered to her. "That would be disastrous to the new generation of gamers."

**41. I should not point out the fact to the characters that people write stories about them every day.**

"PEOPLE ARE DOING WHAT?!" The Mario crowd shouted as they saw all 'nice' stories about them.

**42. I will not put their reactions on Youtube after pointing out the fact that people write stories about them every day.**

To be more precise, Mario fainted, Peach fainted, Luigi fainted, Daisy ran away to kick some butt, Bowser swore revenge, Rosalina fainted, Dimentio swore revenge, Count Bleck and Tipp fainted, Mimi fainted, Fawful swore revenge, O'Chunks didn't know what to do with it and many more things. This was what all people saw on youtube. Later on, the person who put it on was fined for uploading that video without permission. The fine was rather high.

**44. I will not insult the Koopa Bros. about being copies of The Mutant Ninja Turtles.**

"WE ARE NOT COPIES OF THE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES, THEY ARE A COPY OF US!" The Koopa Bros. stated rather loudly.

"Even though the Ninja Turtles existed before you?"

"SHUT UP!"

**45. I will never make fun of Luigi for cross dressing.**

"Say, did you feel pretty as Peach?" a boy asked tauntingly to Luigi. Luigi moved his eyebrow up, thought about the answer for a short moment, and then answered.

"Well, not really. I should've shaven my mustache, wear a more decent dress and brushed my golden locks. Then I would've felt really pretty," Luigi answered. The boy was astonished with this unexpected answer and ran for the hills.

"Trolling the trollers… never thought it would actually work," Luigi smiled to himself.

**46.I will not introduce guns and atomic bombs to Bowser's army.**

"What happened when somebody did?" the protagonist asked Boss-defeater451.

"No one ever did that one yet. The results would be an apocalypse, especially considering the fact that I write Bowser as a villain who would like nothing more than beating either Mario or us authors. If he defeats Mario with a gun, the result is that he might destroy our world. Just saying."

**47. I will not set fire to Mario in paper form.**

"IT BURNS!" Paper Mario shouted out as he ran over the place. A papery girl giggled, till she discovered Mario was burnt to a crisp. Who was going to save princess Peach now?!

**48. Mr. L and Luigi in the same place at the same time does not mean that there is a time paradox. It's the ehe world.**

"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, BUT NOT AN END AS WE KNOW IT!" Toads screamed and ran away from the big confrontation between Luigi and Mr. L. This was it. The final boss that stood in way of unlocking Luigi's true powers.

TRUE FINAL BOSS: MR. L  
DARKNESS OF PURITY

** not feed the fangirls.**

"Why did we think this was a good idea?" the boy asked to the girl as they ran away from a huge army of angry fangirls.

"No idea! We are just stupid as everyone can see by all previous rules!"

**50. I will not tell Toadsworth that he will never find a girlfriend.**

"Toadsworth, you will not get a girlfriend. Ever," a girl stated matter-of-factly to Toadsworth.

"You think that I worry about that at my old age?" Toadsworth attempted to say, but the millions of tears on his face said the other thing.

**51. I will not pull a spike off of Bowser's shell and use it to pick my teeth**

"OW!" Bowser shouted out as one spike was torn off by a boy. The boy instantly proceeded to use it as a tooth prick… except that he kind of broke his teeth on the spike.

"BLASTIOSE!" Bowser roared, as he chased the boy away. A few koopalings stood by.

"Say, why is king Daddy constantly screaming 'Blastoise?'" Wendy asked out loud.

"Bowser Junior got a new game, and asked if king Daddy wanted to join on the fun with the comparison of them with the squirtle evolution line. Not one to disappoint his apparently only son according to Nintendo, king Daddy agreed," Ludwig explained simply.

**52. It is considered rude to steal the Koopaling's wands**

The exact how is lost to time, but we do know the results of the thievery. The victim was changed into a Yoshi, a frog, an ant, and several more animals for the rest of the day.

**53. I will copy and paste this to my profile to inform everyone**

"Wasn't this list about what not to do?" the protagonist asked to Boss-defeater451. "Then why is that rule there?"

"Well, err…" Boss-defeater451 thought to himself how that happened. "Well… I don't know. Just do it." Before the protagonist could react, Boss-defeatert451 forced a sheet of paper in his hands with the list on it.

"Thanks…?" the protagonist wondered if receiving this list was really such a good thing. But all thoughts were cast aside when Boss-defeater451 shouted something out.

"YES! I GOT IT! I'LL USE THE LIST AS THE GIFT FOR CLOUD DREAMER GIRL! IT'LL BE PERFECT!"

"Erm, is adding on to a joke such a good idea? I mean, I thought that only made the joke less funny," the protagonist asked friendly.

"Yes I know. Still doing it, though." And with that, Boss-defeater451 ran away, ready to write another monster of fanfiction that nobody except hopefully Cloud Dreamer Girl would like.

The protagonist watched him leave. "Did he even receive permission from her and the 'Maffia Gang' to use that list? Oh well, not my problems." And so, the protagonist left Boss-defeater451's writing home, ready to make one for himself. The home remained while it should actually vanish at this point. This… might not end so well…

"Target found, king Bowser…" a person on a broomstick giggled to himself.

* * *

**Read, enjoy and hopefully (but probably no one) review if you have the time. I'll get to the realm xt chapter of Daring Truths soon. See you, Ciao and all those goodbye greetings.**


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